Poor poor Toby

Just when I thought I had seen it all, I became aware of a new website. The owner of this website is threatening to eat his pet rabbit unless people donate $50,000 to his account. I wanted to believe that people would realize this is just one man's way to dupe them out of their money, but when I saw that he has already raised $24,000, he became my new hero. You've got to give the guy credit for his originality, in the very least.

Go ahead, check it out: http://www.savetoby.com/

I'm sure what this fellow is doing is illegal in some way or another, but even after a length discussion with a friend, I still can't think of the exact laws that are being violated. It isn't really fraud. It isn't really cruelty to animals, because he hasn't eaten Toby yet. It isn't uttering threats. Hmmm...then what is it?

I'm sure they're going to bust the guy and make him give all the money back. He had a very creative idea, but it certainly is not a perfectly legitimate way of raising money. If you need money, I do suggest getting it from stupid people on the Internet, but try to do it without holding any cute-n-furry animals for ransom.

If you need me, I'll be out threatening to drown some baby kittens unless someone pays me 50 grand.

Careful, or the Pentagon will flash you

It seems that the idiots at the Pentagon have come up with another blatantly stupid idea. In response to problems caused by planes flying into the capital's "restricted" airspace, they have decided to warn pilots to turn back by shining lasers at the plane. Wow, that's one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard. Before I continue, take a moment to read about this fodder.

I'm trying to imagine what the meeting must have been like where they came up with such a stupid solution. There would have been a bunch of meat-head Pentagon officials, sitting around a table, eating donuts and discussing the problem of planes flying into restricted airspace. Obviously this would have been a very important issue to them, because we all know how terrified Americans are of airplanes.

It is entirely possible that a few good ideas may have been presented, most likely from the people at the meeting who weren't smoking weed. The trouble with meetings though, is that the managers are always the ones to get the final say. And, as many of you know, managers are often totally incompetent.

Even as a common civilian, I was able to come up with a perfectly logical solution to this problem. Why couldn't they just have spent $30 on eBay to purchase an aircraft radio? Then, if pilots flew into restricted airspace, they could just tell them to get lost. Gee....that would be easier.

Then I remembered, doing things the logical way just isn't the Pentagon's style. They seem to have protocols that they follow when it comes time to make defense decisions. I haven't actually seen their official protocol document, but I'm sure it looks something like this:

Any new defense system should:

• Cost a whole load of money.
• Sound really awesome on paper.
• Generate fear in the American population.
• Be prime material for inclusion in a Hollywood movie so that Americans can sound cool.
• Showboat America's technological prowess.

With this in mind, I think it's pretty plain why a logical idea like using a radio got shut down. Here's my interpretation:

-The radio isn't expensive enough. Buying a $30 radio wouldn't waste nearly enough tax money.
-Using a radio just doesn't sound very cool. Next to a system that uses lasers, a radio sounds boring.
-Talking to pilots on a radio doesn't run the risk of blinding them. In order to keep the American public afraid, they need to live with the very real possibility of having their pilot suddenly blinded by lasers.
-A radio wouldn't make a movie more interesting. Defense systems aren't any good if they can't be included in a Hollywood picture. How else is America going to remind the world how great it is.
-Using a radio just doesn't say, "look at us, we have super-duper technology to warn our pilots". Morons.

It sounds like this laser system is going to be put in place very soon. I wonder if it occured to them that if the pilot of the airplane really did have the intent for terrorism, shining colored lights at the plane wouldn't stop anything from happening. What a joke. When I buy a plane, I think I'll use one-way glass for windows, just to throw them off.

Snot and Nukes

There have been an inordinate number of ill people at my university lately. I'm guessing some sort of spring cold bug must be travelling the campus right now. In my geology class today, there was a girl that spent the entire time hacking and coughing. It made me quite mad, because not only was it impossible for the rest of us to listen to the professor with her disgusting sniffling, but she's spreading her sickness around.

Seriously people, if you're really sick, stay home. I don't know what this girl was thinking, there is no way she got very much out of the lecture with her nose running down her face. I come to school to learn, not to be revolted by people who can't keep themselves healthy. People can be so disgusting sometimes.

In other news, a group of top scientists...excuse me....nobel prize winning scientists, has suggested that the United States forget about developing its missile defense system. I'm really glad that some people with a lot of credentials are speaking out against this, it would be a total waste of money. You can read about it here.

Missile defense is a stupid idea, and even I'm smart enough to figure out why it won't work (think "brute force"). I know some of you will be saying, "but Harley, what if North Korea tries to nuke us?". Boo-hoo, cry me a river. First of all, thanks to the U.S.'s lovely foreign policy, they probably deserve to be nuked. I wonder if anyone ever thought of being civil and trying to talk things out with the North Koreans.

It's like I've said many times before; the U.S. is always trying to solve the wrong problems in the wrong ways. Remember my quote:

"When your house is on fire, you put out the fire, you don't bake muffins for the neighbors."

What does that mean? It means that instead of pissing away billions of dollars on a missile defense system that doesn't work the U.S. should be trying to sort things out with North Korea in a diplomatic fashion. Rather than protecting yourself from a nuclear strike, just make sure that no one wants to nuke you in the first place. It's so easy, and it will make everyone happier.

Procrasti-nation

Sometimes, it can be so hard to get things accomplished, what a bummer. I'm literally days away from graduating university, and the effort I am having to put forward just to stay focused is mind boggling. You'd think that after all this time here, I'd actually be good at being a student, but I still wear out. I suppose, I'm only human.

I read a rather interesting article on the 'net today critiquing the U.S.'s behavior as of late. I know it sounds cruel, but I actually find myself laughing at them from time to time. The war in Iraq is completely out of hand, and it has become almost a hobby of mine to read the news, then laugh at what Bush and his minions are doing wrong. I really dislike him. Fool.

The other thing that has been really ticking me off is the overload of media coverage the pope has been getting. He's like a new Michael Jackson. Don't get me wrong, the pope was a great guy, and he deserves to be remembered. But, his death has almost completely monopolized the major media coverage for the last few days. This bugs me because there is still a war in Iraq, there are still people getting killed in Sudan, and Bush is still saying stupid things (that I don't want to miss) every day.

I say, bury the pope (I send him my blessings), leave Michael Jackson alone, and let's get back to what matters.