A Free Book From Scott Adams

We all know who Scott Adams is, don't we? In case you've been hiding deep in Nepal's mountains as of late, or you have two cobs of corn between your ears, Scott Adams is the brilliant creator of the smash comic, Dilbert. If you've never heard of Dilbert, you're obviously devoid of any common knowledge critical to survival these days, and if that's the case, go throw yourself under a bus.

For the rest of us who haven't been to Nepal. Who don't have to run for our lives during the annual corn bust lest we be mercilessly beaten by old ladies for our scrumptious heads. And, who are not about to be hit by a bus, Scott Adams released a new book, and it's cheap as FREE!

Perhaps you've read some of Scott's other books and been very entertained. Scott's writing has a certain quality to it; it lacks the formality that would make an English professor proud, it's more "fun". This is a good thing, because English professors usually have hair growing out of their ears, and I've never been able to trust the tastes of people who have hairy ear canals. Not wanting hairy ears of my own, I keep a safe distance from any 'proper' literature and try to only read about topics that are more fun. In my case, Scott Adams is actually the author of my favorite book, "The Joy of Work".

If you're a sadistic doubting Thomas, don't take the title "The Joy of Work" too literally. The truth is, work is the pits (except any 'work' that involves detonating things) but Scott Adams shows easy ways to make it fun, making him a grade A certified genius. In a way, he's kind of like the new Karl Marx; his ideas attack the cruelty and monotony of careers in our capitalist world. Unlike Marx though, Scott Adams chooses to wage war with his revolutionary ideas to help people have fun at work. This may sound less exciting then hordes of disgruntled low class workers throwing their pitch-forks through the heads of the bourgeoisie, but it saves us from having a bunch of disemboweled rich people around our cities.

Anyway, enough about Scott Adam's previous works, let's talk about the free stuff. Scott's new book entitled "God's Debris" is being released free of charge in an electronic version. I haven't read it yet, but judging from the title and the fact that he wrote it, I know I'll love it.

I should say though, I don't know what "God's Debris" means. I predict that 'God's Debris' is either a metaphor for the human race, or, the book is about Earth's final struggle to defend itself against an intergalactic piece of feces 10,000,000 miles in diameter bent on destroying the human race. Or maybe it's both, or some other combination. Whatever, it'll be good.

So, what are you waiting for? Download the book!

Clean Up Your Own Trash

The city that I live in has decided that it would be a good idea to help the people in a less-than-affluent neighborhood clean the garbage out of their yards, free of charge. What a ridiculous idea! Why should lazy people all of a sudden get a free ride? Have we suddenly decided to support the deliquent fools in this city, rather than condemn them? It doesn't make any sense to me.

This is not a solution to the issue, it will only intensify the source of the problem. If this city starts providing lazy people with free yard clean ups, all it will do is encourage them to be even more lazy. I can just imagine some slob sitting on his couch in his underwear saying to himself, "Why should I clean my yard? The city will do it for free."

I tried to imagine myself as one of the city employees tasked with cleaning up such a yard. I'd be haulin' old chairs and bags of trash out of some imbecile's yard. As I assist a coworker with lifting an old chesterfield out of the yard, I'd glance inside the house. Inside I'd notice a man, drinking beer, watching T.V. in his underwear, all the while collecting welfare from my tax dollars.

I'm a pretty patient guy, but I would have no patience in this case. I think it would take about 5 seconds before I'd snap, go to the house, kick in the door, and put my boot in the guy's face. Then I'd drag him outside, make him clean his yard, and when he's done there, I'd make him mow my lawn in return for all my money that went to his welfare.

The city really should crack down on people looking for a free ride. What they should really do is send the bylaw officers over to these homes and start dropping hefty fines on these people. Then, they'll either have to clean up their own yards, or be forced to start a new career in 'community service'. At least then they'll either be helping themselves or helping the city.

Heck, I'd even be willing to let the city pay these people a little something to clean their yards. The city is going to have to pay someone to clean the yard, why not let that someone be the resident of the home? Paying them may actually be the best solution; it will teach them a value of work and it will reduce their need for welfare money.

When baseball goes bad

You really have to marvel at the stupidity of some people. A few days ago, three youths in Bosnia were killed because they were playing catch with a grenade. If they hadn't blown themselves to smithereens, I think I would likely ask them, "Fellas. What the heck were you thinking".

Maybe they didn't have a ball to use, but you'd think that they'd at least have the sense to use a rock or something, anything but a grenade. What a sad loss.

From Reuters:

BANJA LUKA, Bosnia (Reuters) - A hand grenade being used instead of a ball in a game of catch exploded early on Saturday killing three youths in this Bosnian town, police and news agencies said.

Two youths aged 19 and 20, one of them from neighboring Croatia, were killed instantly while a 20-year-old woman died on her way to hospital, police said. Her sister was slightly injured but two other youths suffered serious injuries.

The blast occurred at 2:00 a.m. in the western town of Novi Grad at a place in the town center frequented by youngsters. Police said an inquiry was under way and declined further comment. It was not clear why the grenade exploded.

"It was not clear why the grenade exploded." Maybe the pin fell out?